Hello my name is…

Zach

Aka… Coolzey

I was raised in…

Iowa

The reason that you’re reading about me is…

I paid a publicist

Right now I’m working on…

my house and about 4 different albums

But I’d rather be…

watching independent films in an old theater every day

My most prized possessions are…

my mpc-1000, my guitar, and my amp

But I’d give it all away for…

a role in a Terry Gilliam movie

The first thing I do in the morning is…

make the bed

The last thing I do at night is…

pass out wherever I am, not because I’m drunk, but just really tired

My momma always said…

you are so dramatic

I love it when people…

hug

I can’t stand when people…

stress

The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen is…

unchecked smiles on the faces of beautiful women

The ugliest thing I’ve ever seen is…

sneers on the faces of beautiful women

I am what I drive, which is…

2003 Pontiac Montana minivan with 220,000 miles

If you ever see me walking down the street…

tackle me

My most notable run-in with the law…

captured trying to dive underneath a car wearing a ninja suit after running around shooting off roman candles and vandalizing a house

If I had to say sorry it would be because…

I let it all get to me and I said some nasty things

The last time I swore I’d never drink was after a night of…

drunken sex

Future projects and plans…

Acting and music until I’m 40, then go back to school and become a writer, then when I’m 60 move to the woods and go crazy

And before I leave I’d like to give a shout out to…

Henny, Don, Flat Black Studios, Gracie, Rachel, Kate, Mom, and Dad