No offense, I like Complex magazine, they do some very nice shoots and they’re always on top of shit, but their new issue has a big hole in it. (And I don’t mean that corny chick from Danity Kane. I know Complex is veering strongly toward Maxim, but c’mon, there must be more credible options than Diddy’s girlband MTV bullshit. Although obviously the editors are in on the joke, labeling it “The Classy Issue.”) But the hole I’m talking about is their article, “Skate Shoes: The Definitive History.” Well, that’s what it’s called on one cover. On the other it’s “The Dirty Oral History of Skate Shoes.” (Ugh.) And inside it’s called “Grindin’: An Oral History of Skate Shoes.” Ugh.

This article could not be less definitive, and in fact it’s pretty cruddy and all over the place, despite quoting great sources. Not that I should point fingers (doing what I do), and I know DC is a big Complex advertiser, but how are going to bring up the era of bulbous tongues and moonboot skate shoes, yet not mention the Osiris D-3, Dave Mayhew’s pro shoe and retirement fund? That was the king of bulk! Not to mention the photo captioned “Bastien Salabanzi Airwalking it out” while wearing a pair of shoes that obviously says Axion on the tongue, and that any graying skater would readily identify as the legendary Guy Mariano’s first pro shoe. I could keep nitpicking, but what’s the point? It just wasn’t good.

Which brings me to an email I got today from an old skate homie, Dirk Vogel, whose upcoming book actually is the definitive history of skate shoes.

“Still in Deutschland, went to Oktoberfest … Right now, it looks like the street date will be early January 09, so a piece in the Dec/jan issue of Vapors should be great. There will also be a book release party in Amsterdam that Nike SB is helping put on, and the tentative date for that is 12 December. I’ll let you know how things progress, but it looks like the party will pretty much happen. Maybe you could even come on out, that would be tight!”

That would be tight, I could use some Amsterdam in my life…

However, if I were Complex, I’d get in touch with Dirk and offer him money, and then run his definitive piece. I don’t have their Complex budget (in case you couldn’t tell from my ultra-shitty iPhone flicks of their pages), but they can do that.