Describe your first bike.

Huffy Pro Thunder, red on white.

Describe your current bike.

24 inches strong.

Why do you bike?

’Cause when I was little I couldn’t put girls on my skateboard.

Why do you think razor scooters never made it big?

They ain’t big? You know anybody that wants to buy a collection for cheap?

What’s your sign?

Middle finger up.

Who would win in a fight between Lance Armstrong and Lance Mountain?

Well, Armstrong can take a kick to the nuts, so he gets odds.

What’s the greatest bike song ever?

“Pass the 40” by Black Sheep. “Don’t sleep on the side thinkin’ I’m easy to beat/’Cause I’ll be up in that ass like a bike seat.”

How come you don’t wear a helmet?

What? I always wear protection.