Nice specs and wood. No homo? Really?

“Ever been in the middle of an intimate rendezvous and wish you didn’t have to fumble with the noisy, hard-to-open packaging condoms come wrapped in? Well how about getting rid of the packaging all together and just spraying on a condom? That’s right, a spray-on condom!”

Yeah, this sounds more convenient. Where does the latex that doesn’t land on your pecker go? Into the carpet? Where’s the receptacle end?

If you can’t handle making some noise and opening a condom wrapper before you sink it, you’re not ready for sex. If you proceed, you’ll spawn many retarded children from retarded, fat baby mamas. So say hi to Jerry, Tyra, and Child Services for me.