Describe your current bike.

It was given to me by a friend. His dad rides fixed gears and this must have been his first. It’s a conversion and a shitty one at that (suicide hub!). I popped the lock ring the first week I had it. Due to a number of financial reasons, I still ride it everyday. No parts on it are worth mentioning.

Why do you bike?

To have fun, stay fit, save on gas for beer, and piss off LA motorists.

Do you believe in aliens? If so, what do their bikes look like?

Yeah. Illegal aliens from Canada. We drink lots of beer and still follow the NHL. Can’t speak for all of us but as you can tell, my bike is a piece of shit ’cause I would rather spend the money on beer.

Who would win in a fight between Lance Armstrong and Lance Mountain?

Shit, hard to call. I would say Mountain but Armstrong would play dirty. One thing’s for sure: Nike would love it ’cause they both ride for Nike.

How come you don’t wear a helmet?

I’m from an era when you drank water from the tap outside.