• Am-hos. Just like any pro athlete, skaters have groupies. I’m talking about the girl who doesn’t work in the industry, but she can spot a skater in a lineup and name off his sponsors and his signature tricks. She looks forward to the next demo that rolls through her town, and getting a pro’s autograph on her budding bosom is, to her at least, some kind of big deal. Think: The TRL episode that they changed to Total Request Ryan, a game-show format to hype up Life of Ryan’s season finale; the entire audience is made up of teenage girls who claim they know everything about him; and the girl who knows the most about him wins a trip to LA to chill with Ryan and his entourage. Yeah, winner?
• Pro-hos. How they achieve this status varies, but the bona fide groupies are skater-daters (they only date skaters); they’re guaranteed seats at skate video premieres; and they advise skaters on relationships (read: they are entertained by their rank as the “other woman”). They also tend to repeat a lot of skate rumors they hear—usually info only a skater would know—and use it as some sort of indication of their value to the professional skateboarding community. As each brand appeals to a different flavor, you’ll notice that groupie cliques materialize accordingly: the LA-trendy types always chill with the Girl or Lakai dudes; flip-flop-and-tank-top chicks naturally vibe with the likes of the Quik or Volcom image; punk/torn-fishnet-stocking types most likely find compatible mates in the Flip or Baker camps; the heavy-gold-jewelry-wearing, hip-hop birds usually fly with an LRG or DGK dude. You know the steelo.
• Celebrities, Celeb Kids, and Trust Fundies. Before the Paris x Muska collabo, Jason Dill co-starring as one of Ozzy Osbourne’s offspring, and Jason Lee’s Golden Globe nomination for Best Actor, porn stars were practically the only celebrities skaters could get close to. These days a Gucci-logoed heiress keeps her skater pals in mind at that time of the year when she empties her Hollywood Hills pool for repainting. Pros and Bunnies are on a first-name basis at the Playboy Mansion—right, Dyrdek? Filmers are getting film school recommendations from Oscar-winning directors like Spike Jonze. Shit, Juliette Lewis had her own shoe on DVS.
• The Other Halves. These ladies are hard to pin down. Some of them are into skating, some are women who also work in the business, and others just see skating as their man’s pastime-turned-occupation. Come to think of it, you never really hear about a skater’s main squeeze unless they are expecting a baby, having an art show (interchangeable with fashion, jewelry or handbags), or disrupting the natural order of skateboarding (by way of gossip, sleeping with her man’s peers, or forcing him to choose between her and skating). But no matter, I’ve found that any topic regarding a skater’s significant other is a sensitive matter. As in, there are those partners who want to be put on the map of pro skating, but to have an opinion on them ends in confrontation.
• Ms. Executives. If skating is someone’s career, these female “suits” help them stay in business. Among various jobs, they approve team budgets, book flights and hotel rooms for skate tours, sign-off on expense reports, and manipulate press coverage. They’re also the ones who provide the liquor sponsor for premiere after-parties and hire the hot local hostesses to accompany a team to their next demo. They’re the designated drivers of the night. They’ve got the hook up to shoes, clothes and boards. Want to start a skateboard company? They’ll finance it. And forget gossip—company comps and bigger budgets are these ladies’ guilty pleasures. In fact, they stand apart from other skate chicks because they can hang with the boys on a level that most other girls can’t keep up with. As some chick so eloquently put on Sex and the City, they can fuck like men.
• Skate Mom/Managers. They buy their kids’ first board, drive them to the local skate park, and help fill out skate contest entry forms, among other typical motherly gestures. They’re also increasingly soliciting filmers to make sponsor-me videos and spending family vacays in Barcelona. However, due to one mom, maternal support in skating is reaching new levels. Gretchen Sheckler, manager/mom of Ryan, is a self-made industry chick who is paving the way for skate moms everywhere. While some question her motives (did you notice she’s the show’s producer and her divorce is a recurring theme on Life of Ryan?), she continues to rake in the dollars with Ryan’s business deals. Her successors are taking note.
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