Hello, my name is…
Candice Clarke aka Cando

I was raised in…
The ghettos of Irvine, CA, but not before I jumped between the Philippines and Japan. OK, you’re right, there are no ghettos in Irvine, but it was the not-as-expensive part of town.

The reason that you’re reading about me is…
Because I’m the Heidi Fleiss of DJ managers. Just call me your neighborhood DJ madame.

Right now I’m working on…
Booking DJ Tina T and DJ Hapa on their world tours, a reality show for the Cocaine Kids, locking in an endorsement deal with Lil Jon and Numark, while at the same time trying to find my way back to LAX but not before I stop in NY, NJ, PA, IL, NV and SC along the way.

The first thing I do in the morning is…
Respond to the important messages on my Blackberry from bed.

The last thing I do at night is…
See what’s on Cinemax…why not?

My momma always said…
You’ll never know unless you ask, and the worse thing anyone could say is no…and if they say no, kick them in the balls.

I love it when people…
Send me checks.

I hate it when people…
Answer their phone in meetings.

If you ever see me walking down the street…
Tell me how we can make money together.

My most notable run-in with the law…
Was when I “witnessed” an attempted homicide. The truth is, after hearing the gunshots from the roof of the building next to the scene of the crime, I ducked down and encouraged everyone else to do the same, out of fear that the gunman would turn and shoot upward at us. In the end, I saw nothing but a guy fleeing like he just shot some dude. I am now on standby for the next ten years as a key witness—but I didn’t even see anything! Luckily, the guy lived.

If I had to say sorry it would be because …
My DJs are better than yours.

Yo, you see this scar, I got this when I…
Took a nose dive when was skateboarding down a hill in the Philippines back when I worshiped Tony Hawk in the ’80s.

The last time I swore I’d never drink was after …
I freaked Stevie Wonder on stage while he was singing “Happy Birthday” to me. I still don’t understand why everyone waited till his last song to stop me from making an ass out of myself.

Future projects and plans…
To become Executive Platinum on American Airlines.

And before I leave I’d like to give a shout out to…
The parking enforcement of greater Los Angeles. (Hopefully ’cause I’m giving them the shout, they’ll conveniently run out of tickets when they come across my black ’96 Honda Accord. I know you know who I am—’cause you keep leaving tickets on my car!)

www.candiceclarke.com
www.myspace.com/candiceiscool